If you’ve ever experienced the loss of a loved one or friend, you know the gripping, raw emotion and feeling of grief. It’s a part of the human dynamic and gives us the ability to put the very precious gift of life into perspective. Perspective, one of my favorite words for good reason. I’ve got a LOT of experience attempting to put my career into perspective since it changed like the wind throughout most of my roaring 20’s.
EARLY YEARS
In order to get a good grip on the last decade or so, let’s rewind a bit…
I snagged my first Bachelor’s degree from SUNY Oswego on a cold mid-December day in 2004. A Perennial family vacationer to Disneyworld, I thought, “shit, Orlando sounds like a fun place to move to 3 weeks after graduation?” Why not?! A good friend and I packed up whatever we could fit in our cars and made the 1,200 mile trek from Syracuse, NY to Orlando, FL. After a few weeks of handing out dozens of resumes in a sharp suit to Orlando businesses, pretending I was hot shit straight out of school like Christian Bale in American Psycho, the only thing I ended up being was hot as shit in that insane Florida humidity. I was quickly met with the stark reality that communications degree doesn’t guarantee you a dream job heading up Mickey’s PR team at Disney.
So I went back to “school” and became a certified bartender. Soon enough I was whipping up “one of my rum specialties” as a pool-side bartender at a large resort near Disney, just like Tom Cruise in Cocktails.
After about a year I left Orlando, and soon after moved back to Oswego to earn my Masters in Counseling and stayed in the area for six years with a cool company managing weddings and corporate events on Lake Ontario, but was still looking for something more. I know, “dude, c’mon figure it out already!”
CAREER GRIEF & LOSS
Building a career requires patience, something I admittedly lacked during my twenties. But, there was hope yet. I hit my 30’s, and with the help of an old college classmate, was hired in a new role at a fast-growing startup in downtown Syracuse, NY. I thought this is it. This is the one. I can honestly say outside the occasional head cold, there was not a day I didn’t enjoy going into work. A Millennial dominated startup that felt like the East Coast Google.
The work, culture, perks, friends, autonomy, flexibility, and seemingly endless growth potential. I thought I had it all. But then, after two years working tirelessly to build a corporate university for our employees, on the day of my three year anniversary, I was brought into my boss’s office, along with the friend who hired me, and suddenly let go. They decided to eliminate my position, effective immediately. I had a lot of shit at my desk, and word spread fast that I was packing up.
That day still seems surreal. It was over. I was defeated and grieving, and suddenly cynical of Corporate America. Why did this happen? I was loyal, loved my job, the people and felt purpose.
Career Grief? Oh, it’s a very real thing. I’ve experienced it far more times than I care to admit. I used to compare myself to my fellow graduates, wondering if I had stayed in Orlando if I’d be the GM at some resort, or landed a gig at Disney that turned into management. But, life’s really funny like that. You can’t go back and change that shit. I made the decision to move back home, advance my education and start over…and over…and over.
REBUILDING & BEGINNING OF A BRAND
Those moments of homesickness, despair, indecision, sudden job loss should be the emotions and failures that you endure. In the long run, these will help you stay motivated and hungry for success. I used to think it was someone else’s fault for not believing in me, when the most important thing I should have realized was to get through adversity, you have to believe in yourself.
Fast Forward to present Day….a business Tycoon named Donald Trump is President, shows like Baywatch and Full House are relevant again, and we live in a digital age that gives us access to a dizzying amount of information at our fingertips on so many devices (“I’m not getting a sig on my beeper”)
If you end up bartending for awhile with a college degree, there’s nothing wrong with that, I’ve been there and pissed away so much tip money I’d just rather not talk about it. The secret of this whole career journey is to arm yourself with the ability to make career decisions that truly make you happy…after all, it’s YOUR career, nobody else’s. Grief is a part of life, but it’s all about how you deal with adversity that allows you to keep moving forward.
So with that, DIYCareerGuy is officially here to help you sort it all out with some in the face career advice you won’t get from a cookie-cutter career counselor giving you a Myers-Briggs in a cold room.
DIYCareerGuy is here to help you get that new job, promotion, become an entrepreneur, whatever you desire, you can “Do It Yourself”.